Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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