What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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