Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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