Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
