Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
