he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Congratulations! We have a period
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
