Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
