With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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