Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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