And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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