I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
