Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You don't make any sense
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