we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
