so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
