If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
