So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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