Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Porn is love you can see.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It's just like the Real World with babies
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
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