so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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