he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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