what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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