Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
