Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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