the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
