super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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