we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
In America we eat man semen.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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