can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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