I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
