I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
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Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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