i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So many bounce houses so little time
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The air taste purple.
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