i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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