my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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