Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
