i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
