Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
