i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
