Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm sobbing to NWA
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
