When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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