Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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