i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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