Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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