Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Congratulations! We have a period
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