i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize