I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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