So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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