so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
