We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
