well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
