You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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