And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
