We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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