i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
