My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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