I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
