Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I understand Curling. That high.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
