can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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