My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
