Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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