Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Its about making memories worth repressing
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
