im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I am naked and annoyed.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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