my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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