the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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