you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
