yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I want her autograph on my taint
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
