We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
