U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
